I observed an interesting interaction between my classmates recently. It involved them being together in a project group from my current university’s class. In this group of four, the only female was the group leader with the remaining three guys as group members. They were having a group discussion on an engineering project that was due in two weeks’ time.
Before the discussion began, I noticed each of their facial expressions, except for the leader. They seem really uninterested and reluctant to start the discussion. Two of them were pre-occupied with their mobile phones while the other had his head resting on the table. I was unsure if their restless behavior was a result of a long day at school or if they were just being disrespectful towards their leader. Whatever the reason, I was extremely upset with their way of behaving because they had no regards for the feelings of others. Perhaps it is in the culture of young men to behave in such an ill-mannered manner where, unless they receive instructions on what is required to be done, they will not make an effort to start on a task.
Next, the group leader began updating the group on its progress. Externally, it looks as if her group members were listening to what she had to say but judging from their body language, it looked contradictory. Each of them to my knowledge displayed negative body language which showed how they each felt about the current situation. One had his arms crossed over his chest, another had his legs crossed over other while the last member had his legs stretched on another chair. Instead of remaining still and giving their utmost attention to their group leader, they kept fidgeting and seemed uneasy. These could be possibly due to an influenced culture where age acts as an important role. As long as we are older than anyone, we assume we deserve respect from individuals younger than us and expect them to endure and not feel annoyed from any sorts of unpleasant behaviors portrayed by us.
These negative non-verbal cues could also be the result of the difference in gender or in other words, gender discrimination. In the context of gender role, most of us feel that girls are not good leaders or should not even carry that role for that matter. Most of us see males as being leaders and females as followers. However, this is just a belief, not a known fact. These may be possible reasons why the group members showed such negative behavior towards the group leader. For the same reason, I feel that was how the three male members of the group were feeling as well. In addition, the group leader did not disapprove or express her thoughts of their absurd behavior. As a result, it most probably further reinforced their beliefs that girls are not good leaders.
Farmunication 
Hi Faris
You have described an interesting encounter and given us sufficient details to ‘see’ what was happening. Good work!
As for the evaluation, I don’t see (from the description) how the indifference displayed by the guys resulted from their perception of girls’ (in)ability to lead. This point needs to be reinforced / rationalized, for the assigning of “cause” to be reasonable and acceptable. You could look at gender roles and expectations, and base your discussion on that.
If you do revise this, please do so by Wednesday. Thank you.
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Hey Faris, very deep observant you had there. I want to add in and evaluate based on your story, I strongly agree gender influence is a factor to communication. Perception based on gender another factor too.
Men are more logical and better at coordination and spatial awareness, however, women are more intuitive, have greater emotional intelligence and better memories for words and faces. Women are configured to handle matters of heart and mind and to study others’ behaviour then interpret it using intuition and analysis.
Women really are best at juggling, emotional empathetic, strong, intuitive, compassionate, relationship building, verbal, consensus building, collaborative and gossipy. Men, on the other hand, strong, arrogant, intelligent, ego-driven, bravado, powerful, dominant, assertive, single tasking, focused, competitive, stubborn, physical, and self-righteous. Men are passive-aggressive. They sit in the bushes and wait.
Men tend to be more task-oriented while women take on a more interpersonal style of leadership. That explained their group leader, a female who lead a good role while they are being lazy and disrespectful! Women tend to be more efficient when it comes to solving problems. In this situation, the three males of the group members are slightly more feminine in their behaviour traits than they are masculine. They perceived differences play into “role congruity” which is the expectation that a person acts in a certain way based on their gender.
It’s often quoted that “Men and women can do the same thing, but if they both act assertive, women are rated less effective because we expect men to do that,”. The perceived gender-based leadership represent a “social expectation of what is “appropriate or inappropriate”.
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I have seen that you make excellent observations and I agree with most if not all of the observations you have made. However, you mentioned that those actions were common to younger males in our generation but did not give us a good sense of the age gap between the group members. Was the girl older than the other three group mates? If so, there could be other observations we could make. Could there be some form of cultural impact that could cause the guys to develop the habit of waiting for instructions instead of actively trying to help their group members with the task at hand?
In my opinion, the reason for their behavior is due to having to wait for instructions during their time in national service. They have been used to only waiting for instructions and might have carried over that habit over to school resulting in their behavior. They might also display such body language as they are aware that the group leader will ensure the work will be completed timely and choose to take less responsibility knowing that someone else will get the work done. Such behavior is common among the younger generation as they are used to being pampered and have things fixed in their place.
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The encounter that you have given here is very relatable for a student reading this.
I found the part of explaining why the male group-mates were uncooperative towards the female group leader very interesting. It is interesting because from the way I understood this was that there are two reasons why these students behave that way. I like the way that this was seen in two ways.
From the encounter maybe what the female leader should have done was to engage them in some research. As you have stated in the post, this culture in young men may not be that well known for the leader to know this. Maybe that is why the group were having such a restless behavior. I also believe that she was not able to engage the group effectively maybe because she is still new to them. It is quite typical in girls to be introverts. In school culture, it is normally seen in girls to be more shy and quieter compared to boys. She also avoids trying to boss them around probably did not want to end up seen as being too bossy because in society, no one likes a bossy leader, especially if it is someone you don’t really trust.
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